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Texting joke
Q: What do cows use in their text messages?
A: E-moo-jis!
Candy joke
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams!
Number joke
Q: What happened when 19 and 20 got into a fight?
A: Twenty-one
Coffee joke
Q: What is the opposite of a coffee? A: A sneezy
Flower joke
Q: What is the opposite of a coffee?
A: A sneezy
Boxing joke
Q: What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
A: Fruit punch!
Train joke
Q: How do trains hear?
A: With engine-ears!
Journalist joke
Q: What kind of underwear do reporters wear?
A: News briefs.
Cow joke
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef!
Tire joke
Q: Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?
A: At forks in the road.
Pepper joke
Q: What does a nosy pepper do?
A: It gets jalapeño business.
Duck joke
Q: Why did the detective duck get an award?
A: Because he quacked the case!
Apple joke
Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: You push it down a hill
Hair salon joke
Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts!
Pig talk joke
Q: How do pigs talk?
A: Swine language!
Ice joke
Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!
Pirate joke
Q: Why couldn’t the kid see the pirate movie?
A: It was rated ARR!
Haunting joke
Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends.
Sun joke
Q: Why did the sun go to school?
A: To get brighter!
Pencil joke
Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
A: Pointless.
Ocean joke
Q: How do you cut a wave in half?
A: Use a sea saw.
Watch joke
Q: Why was the boy sitting on his watch?
A: Because he wanted to be on time.
Cloud joke
Q: How do you wrap a cloud?
A: With a rainbow
Tomato joke
Q: What did the late tomato say to the early tomato?
A: “I’ll ketch up!”
Sea monster joke
Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships!
Dog joke
Q: What goes tick, tick, woof, woof?
A: A watch dog!
Pizza joke
Q: Want to hear a pizza joke?
A: Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
Beard joke
Q: Why did the man start liking facial hair?
A: Dunno, it just grew on him.
Train joke
Q: How does a train eat?
A: It goes chew chew!
Mississippi joke
Q: Why does the Mississippi river see so well?
A: Because it has four eyes!
